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Tank ya kindly!


If you had the option to learn the exact moment and details of your death, would you choose to know?


2 reasons.

1. Iam way too anxiety ridden to be able to handle this knowledge.

2. I do not believe that human beings as a whole are capable of grasping this knowledge, being able to understand it, or would even capable of handling this kind of information. Reading the other peoples answers to this and seeing the people who said yes just baffled me. The only one that made me giggle was that one person said "Icouldn't live with the possibility that Imight be immortal."The other people who said yes, said it with kind of an "I want to know so I can avoid it" undertone. You cannot avoid death .....unless you are immortal. Didn't any of these people watch Dead Like Me?

All kidding aside, if there was an option to be able to ~know~ this kind of information and people chose to do so these people would likely get a date that was not too far away. My theory is that if someone where to become aware of their "death date" they would become so fragile they would likely end up offing themselves, OR because human behavior in general shows a trend that with this knowledge there would be an increase in murders, because people act based on incentives. If someone were to claim to know something that could make another person live longer, by offing another person (just as an example) they would likely take that incentive to try and better themselves, thus equally the "not too far away" date/time. People are greedy. The release of this type of information would just be too dangerous.

I could ramble on about this, but I want to write something else before Ilose the thought....so I'm stopping there.

Also, I'm in a mixed state, feeling creative, inspired, and also way too logical. It's an odd combination, I'll tell you what.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

May. 18th, 2011

 Dear LiveJournal,

I am VERY irritated that when I click on old community links from popular communities like ONTD, & TQC that the site automatically changes my layout/journal style without my permission. I am a paying customer to this website, and expect that my money be used the way I want it to. There also still seems to be problems with pages loading properly. In fact this is how my page is loaded right now.
Dammit LJ.Collapse )

Please fix this immediately. 

Thank you,

Dreams & stuff.

 Hey Flist! 

I made a new journal to record my dreams. Most of you know that I have some pretty weird/fucked up dreams so I decided that I needed a place that was just for them. 

dreamsperplexia  is the journal that I've created to do just that. Friend that if you wanna see what my brain is up to. 

I also got a little overzealous and created a community dedicated to sharing dreams, and dream interpretation. I suck at finding communities so I don't know if there is one that already exists or not, but I made one anyway. Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition.dreams_decoded is the community, and if you have weird dreams like me and want to share them with other people please join and spread the word if you like the idea. :) 
Oh god LJ, your new header bar is hideous...and makes my eyes hurt to look at... I HAVE TO SQUINT TO LOOK AT MY COMPUTER SCREEN.



I have to remind myself that today is valentines day, and that most of my friends have SO's and I shouldn't dump my blahblah loneliness on their happiness.

I'm waiting for the subsequential numbness to rotate itself back into my life.

It's just taking a very long time this time.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

I had a really weird dream last night. Like, really really weird.

First I was in Australia, no, I've never been to Australia so apparently it's just what's in my brain of Aus. I was there for a polocrosse tournament and training for advanced riders. A grade only. I wasn't riding, but there to learn instead. My parents were with me and we had to stay in a tent. Which is not all that unusual for polox tourneys that I've actually been to.

I was with some guy who was giving me a run down of what to do when I encounter certain things, especially the wild brumbies. Apparently in my dreams they were all flea bitten grey horses, and were all INCREDIBLY AGGRESSIVE. Like rabid or some shit. So we're walking around the bush and he's telling me if you see a brumby sneak away from it because she'll chace you down and trample you if she sees ya. I'm like oh grrreat that sounds fantastic. We run over this cottony looking thistle that is apparently toxic, like really really poisionous don't get on your skin or you might die, toxic. There was an antiserum you could use if you did get it on you that would neutralize the toxins. Anyway, don't get this shit on you. Don't trust any horses that you see around unless they look domesticated. Oh, and beware of grizzly bears.

Grizzly Bears?? Grizzly Bears in Australia? Okay, sure.....

We're walking down a hill when all the sudden we spot a brumby, and I freeze. Immediately it's ears pin and dude and I book it as it chaces us for about 25 feet, then stops. He laughed and I looked at him like he was nuts. We just almost could have been killed! I screamed at him, and he said "ah, nah shelia, she wasn't even that mad at us. You'll know when a brumby is really mad at ya." Great. Just great.

So we get back to my camp site and he says to get into our tents and zip up before it gets really dark, because it's not safe out in the bush after dark. I take heed since everything else he's told me was true. I hustle my parents and my aunt and uncle into their tents and grab my dog. Who wants nothing to do with sleeping but instead is pacing around the tent like something horrible is happening. Which makes me think we're in some kind of danger. My parents wanted to leave the tent windows open, just the screens up rather than all sealed in so we couldn't see anything, and more importantly, nothing could see us. I pleaded with them to zip up the tent windows, but they wouldn't do it. So I decided to zip my side of the tent, and said that it was because it would get cold...really it was because I was terrified of these fucking brumby horses.

I get up in the morning and sit up to look out the little open triangle behind my head and see two black horse knees. My heart is pounding so I try to look a little more, and overnight I see that two more tents had appeared behind mine, and the horse knees I saw were of a horse that was being used in the demo that day. He had been tacked up and was just standing there quietly. I got up and let my dog out of the tent and stretched out looking around nonchalantly to see if there were any dangers around the campsite. I didn't see any so I relaxed and started to build a new fire to make breakfast.

After breakfast we all went over to the field and I watched some of the hardest hitting competators take and give their all to this lovely sport of polocrosse. It was amazing, and then we all went back to our campsites again. It was starting to get dark and I knew that after dinner we'd all have to go to bed again, before it got really dark. I stepped out of the tent, and my dog slipped out behind me and took off. I went running after him when I saw a grey brumby horse starting at me from on top of a hill. I remembered what the guy had said and try to back away slowly, and then the horse flattened it's ears to it's head and charged. I turned around and RAN as fast as my legs could carry me. I didn't want to go back to the tent because that would put everyone else in danger too so I zig zagged in another direction and ducked behind a tree which had a hill that kind of looked like a crater in the moon to hide in. I went to leap over the edge when all of the sudden I see a grizzly. Fuck fuck fuck! Little did I know the grizzly wanted nothing to do with me but instead stood up on it's hind legs and growled fiercely at the brumby who stopped and took off in the other direction. Then I saw the grizzly's cub, and snuck away before the momma bear could notice I was still there. I got back to the tent and zipped up all the windows, my parents couldn't believe what I had just expirenced, and in fact...they didn't. Story of my life, but sleep came easily after I finally caught my dog, the cuprit of all of these things.

Now you tell me, if you saw this running at you, would you be terrified? Cause I know I would be.

...and I'm a horse person.

I get to find out who made the league today or tomorrow. I'm pretty excited.
"Fucking" is one of those fucking words you can fucking put anyfuckingwhere in a sentence and it still makes fucking sense.

Dear Cellphone, Maybe if you didn't light up so many got damn times telling me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly.

I think Facebook should change the status question from "What's on your mind?" to "What's your problem today?"

That awkward moment when you start talking & realize no one is listening so you slowly fade out & pretend like nothing happened...
WHY I CHECK MY VOICEMAIL: 5%: Because I care about my missed calls. 95%: To get rid of the annoying icon on my phone.

"do you work here?" nope I just so happen to be wearing the same uniform and name tag as the employees... strange!

Before I die, I wanna have a party with fake alcohol...and see how many people act wasted.

You think you're paying for a bag of chips when really you're paying for half a bag of air

"K" Oh, would you like some fries with that conversation killer?

When I say "just kidding" 50% of the time, I'm not :)

One day my patience will run out, and i will punch you. in the face. Hard.

no I ain't mad at ya, the stab in the back felt good, do it again... I insist....

Dear bubblewrap, Thank you for the endless hours of childlike fun. Sincerely, people everywhere.

WHO ELSE says "BRB" when you wanna get out of a boring conversation?

Don't take my kindness for weakness.

When I'm bored, NOBODY & I mean NOBODY texts me... oh, but when I'm busy .. My phone blows up.

I hate it when you get in an argument then when its over you think about the things you could of said...

Panic attack: when you don't feel your phone in your pocket

Dear 6, please stop spreading rumors about me eating nine, you shouldn't be talking I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely 7

dear phone, stop spell checking all my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut

Every time someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to hit them in the face and say "It's not as easy as it sounds, is it?"

my favorite text message: "i'll be there in 5 minutes. if not, read this again."
What sign were you born under in the Chinese lunar calendar? Do you think it accurately represents your animal spirit?

I'm a rabbit. This is MY year.

Anyway, I'm not sure that it really represents my animal spirt. I'm a Leo otherwise...so maybe I'm just a cowardly lion?

Writer's Block: The name game

What's the origin of your username? If you could change it to anything else, would you, and what would it be?

It was an early morning in August of 2009 when I was sitting at my desk, at my new job, and I had decided that I wanted to start writing a journal about how my life in business is and what all of my new expirences would teach me. It took me awhile to think of something, and I had come up with a few names that just were kind of meh...but weren't fantastic. Then I got up to get myself a cup of coffee, and while it was brewing I brought the box of sugar in the raw to my desk, poured some out and started playing with it. Just examining the crystals of pure sugar, and noticing their shape, size, and color. Then I had the thought, how pretty would this be if these crystals were rainbow colored? It hit me like an epiphinany, lame as it is, and so RainbowRawSugar was born.  


stone eyes
Individuality- just a figment of your imagination.

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